fangirls on the loose
by Rikona
Summary: What happens when two fangirls from our world get loose in Naruto world? Lets see, shall we. (Beware sexy bishi ninjas Muahahahah!)
1. Default Chapter

The full moon shone down on a peaceful midnight forest. The cool breeze gently shifted the leaves and blades of grass, making them shimmer in the faint moonlight. Somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted, its mysterious cry gently piercing the darkness.  
  
The peacefulness was disturbed by a small flash of light in a small meadow. The light lasted only a few seconds, and when it faded, two figures remained in its place. They stood quietly for a few moments, and then one of them began to cackle evilly.  
  
"Ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheehheheheheheh ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheheh-"  
  
Its laughter was cut off by a smack on the head.  
  
"Shut up will you?!" The other figure whispered fiercely. "What if someone hears you?!"  
  
"Ow..." The first figure rubbed its head ruefully. Or at least that was what it looked like. It was hard to make out the details of the two figures in the shadow of a large tree. "But Vlona-sensei, we finally did it. We're finally in Konohagakure! Why shouldn't I cackle? This is a great and momentous occasion that the ninjas will never forget! And I wanna enjoy it!"  
  
The second figure, which had just been ruefully revealed as 'Vlona- sensei', seemed to stroke its chin thoughtfully.  
  
"Hmm, I suppose you have a point, Rikona. But still, cackling evilly may give our arrival away. And we want our secret plan to remain a secret ne?"  
  
The first figure, Rikona, sighed. "Hai, I suppose your right. I was just so caught up in the heat of the moment that I forgot about the ANBU sentries. It /would/ be a real shame if our plan was revealed ahead of time...."  
  
The two of them began to cackle, but very quietly, so as not to alert any sentries in the forest. Then they began to walk slowly and evilly out of the shadows of the trees, and into the moonlight, where their identities were finally revealed....  
  
They were....fangirls.....  
  
"Prepare yourselves, sexy ninja bishis! Your time has come!" They yelled into the darkness.  
  
End Chapter one.  
  
I know it's really short. But the other chapters will be longer, I promise.  
  
what do you think? It's my first humour fic. And reviews would be greatly molested....uh....appreciated. ;  
  
So, in case you are not understanding what the authoress is writing, this fic is about two fangirls who escape in Naruto world. Eheheheh. Beware, bishis.  
  
(The fangirl Rikona is me, and the fangirl Vlona is my best friend. -) 


	2. main characters and hickies

Hello dear reader(s). .  
  
Ahem I'm so glad that you decided to read the second chapter of my fic. .....  
Well, actually, it's more like the first chapter. The collection of words that you read before was the prologue. sweatdrop  
Anyways, I thought I should warn you, I'm trying to keep the normal characters in character, so it won't be very funny at first. This chapter is actually kind of...I dunno. Sappy and angst a bit? Ah well, the humour will come later on. Okay?  
Soooo, um, here's chapter one!!  
  
Konohagakure no Sato was a very busy village. The sunny streets were filled with bustling activity, from deals and haggles between sellers and buyers, to fights between two brawny men who wanted attention from the hot girl who was actually paying attention to the sexy bishi ninja. Yes, this village was full of life. Unless you include the people who are dead...because, y'know...their not alive...and um...yeah. Back to the story!  
  
Amid the bustling activity of Konohagakure no Sato's afternoon activities, two figures will be taken notice of (because if we didn't notice them, then they wouldn't be main characters, and this fic would be pointless).  
  
That's right. These two figures that we are now taking notice of-even though at first glance they don't seem all that remarkable- are the main characters. Why? You ask.  
  
Hmm, well, actually, you would probably ask 'who?' Who the hell are these figures that we are now taking notice of and are the main characters?  
  
I, the authoress, will give you a hint. One of them is a teacher, and the other is his former student. Even though the student is no longer officially taught by the teacher, they still have a sort of father and son bond, and whenever he can, the teacher takes the student out for ramen. (There is another main character, but he will come into the story a tad later...)  
  
That's right!!!! These hot and cute figures are none other than Iruka Umino of the ninja academy, and Naruto Uzumaki of the....um...Naruto world! Or Konoha, or whatever.  
  
the authoress goes into fits of drooling and gets starry eyed Iruka.....  
  
Now that the reader is aware of 'whom', the authoress will tell you why. Why these two figures are the main characters. It's simple really. These characters (including the one that hasn't been introduced yet) are characters that need love, and so they are the main characters. It's sad, really. There are three wonderful people who are good looking and talented, and no one appreciates them.  
  
The authoress begins to cry anime style tears Oh, it's just so sad...  
  
Anyway, that is the reason that I have chosen these two (and the one that is unknown at the moment) as the main characters. I simply have a wish that these unappreciated people should be realized for the sexy beings that they are.  
  
We'll start with Iruka.  
  
Iruka Umino is the main teacher at the ninja academy. There are a few others, but he is the one who teaches the fundamentals of the ninja arts. Almost everything that a student needs to learn, they learn from him. And yet, the only thanks they give him, is to cheer wildly every time he lets them out of class.  
  
the authoress has a seizure of sadness Poor...poor...Iruka...  
  
Iruka doesn't complain. Iruka doesn't expect more. That is one of his main problems. His parents died when he was only twelve, so there was no one around to praise him for his accomplishments, or tell him that he was too very handsome, and to not listen to that dumb bully who said he was ugly.  
  
None of that happened, so Iruka grew up thinking that he was plain looking (untrue), untalented (untrue), boring (untrue), and alone (true, unfortunately.)  
  
And Naruto. From the day he was born, nearly every ninja in the whole village hated his guts. They hated his entire existence. A few paid enough attention to him to hit him, or diss him, but for the most part, they completely ignored him, hoping that if they closed their eyes, they'd make him disappear. As a result, he grew up in such a way that he would do anything for a scrap of attention. At first, he tried to be the best ninja in his class. He paid attention, worked hard, and was reasonably well behaved. But none of that worked. No matter how hard he tried, he was never good enough, unlike that bastard Uchiha....  
  
So, Naruto then tried a different tactic. If he couldn't be good enough, he'd have to be bad enough to get attention. And unfortunately, this tactic worked. When he slipped frogs and bugs down peoples shirts, they yelled at him and focused on him. When he flooded his classroom, the teacher yelled at him, and gave him detention. And when he painted graffiti all over the mountain images of the Hokages, Hokage the third himself went out of his way to yell at the boy. However, none of these made Naruto happy. They were sort of like a drug. He just needed them.  
  
But then, one day, when Naruto was about nine, he and Iruka met. It was the first day of school, and Iruka was to be the genins new instructor. As he cheerfully walked into the schoolyard, he saw Naruto already there, sitting on his favourite swing and crying. The chuunin teacher saw the pitiful sight, and his big heart melted, leaving an awful mess on his shirt (melting hearts are very hard to get off your clothes 0o).  
  
Despite the state of his shirt, Iruka walked over to the crying boy, who immediately cringed in fear. His adorable blue eyes widened, and he raised his hands above his head, hoping to protect himself from this stranger's wrath.  
  
"I didn't do anything mister! It wasn't me this time, I swear! Please don't hit me!"  
  
Iruka's eyes widened. "Anou, kid, I'm not going to hit you. I just thought you looked hungry, and I was wondering if you want some ramen or something..."  
  
And Voila! That is how the fishcake and the dolphin met! It may be due to the fact that they were both orphans, and Iruka saw something in Naruto that reminded him of himself, or maybe it's because dolphins like fish. Anywho, after that first encounter, Iruka realized that Naruto could be a huge brat sometimes, but at other times, he was one of the sweetest boys in the leaf.  
  
However, even though Iruka and Naruto found eachother, and they formed a strong father/son relationship, when Naruto graduated from the ninja academy, they couldn't see eachother nearly as much as they wanted to. So, they are both, still quite lonely.  
  
And that is the reason that I, the authoress, have decided to make these two (and other one that you don't know about yet) ninja's the main characters of my story. THEY NEED LOVE, DAMMIT!  
  
So, now that the reader knows why and who. I will get back to the main story, as I am probably boring you with history you already know.  
  
Amid the bustling activity of Konohagakure no Sato's afternoon activities, two figures will be taken notice of. The reader already knows who these two figures are.  
  
"Anou, anou, arigato sensei! Yay! Ramen, ramen, ramen. Heheheheheheh!" After yelling this, Naruto began a dance of pure joy and no style, waving his hands in the air and shaking his bum.  
  
Iruka laughed at his former students antics, and then hit him on the head.  
  
"Naruto! Stop wiggling your bum! You look like an idiot!"  
  
The blonde stuck his tongue out, but he did stop dancing.  
  
The two squeezed their way through the thick crowed that was the street, trying to get to their goal as quickly as possible. And like all the other times that Iruka took Naruto out, the goal was the Ichiraku ramen bar. Naruto never got tired of going to the same place over and over again, so Iruka didn't bother to think of new things to do. He was content just to watch the joy radiate off the blonde's face. Not to mention he also really loved ramen.  
  
Both of them were very happy at the moment. Finally they could spend some time together.  
  
(And no, this is not an IruNaru fic.)  
  
"Hey! Anou sa! Anou sa! Some service here! I'd like some miso ramen! Hey!" Was the first thing Naruto shouted when they arrived. He received a bonk on the head and a: "Don't be so rude, Naruto! There are other costumers here!" From Iruka.  
  
Well, anyway. After a while they received the ramen they so desired, and Naruto practically inhaled his first bowl. However, he was prevented from inhaling his second bowl by a tentative hand on his arm.  
  
"Naruto-kun, please try to eat the ramen a little bit slower. I think you should enjoy it more."  
  
"Demo, Iruka-niichan, I do enjoy it. And I eat it slowly after the fifth bowl." Naruto whined.  
  
Iruka smiled at the title that Naruto had recently given him, but then frowned at the rest of the remark.  
  
"Naruto-kun, I can't buy you as much this time."  
  
Naruto's eyes widened. "D-doushita? "  
  
(You know what!? Screw the stars. I'll just have a vocabulary list okay? And doushita means 'why?')  
  
Iruka sighed and blushed slightly. "I-I'm kind of low on money at the moment."  
  
The blonde's blue eyes widened even more. "Doushita?! Is it because I make you buy me ramen!? Oh, gomen nasai, niichan! I didn't know it cost so much!"  
  
The dolphin chuckled and ruffled the boy's hair.  
  
"Iie, Naruto-kun. It's not really that. They cut teachers funds at the academy, and what with paying the bills for myself and you, I'm having a hard time keeping up."  
  
"NANI!? They cut your money!? Who do they think they are?! Just who are they?! If I ever find out I'm gonna kick their ass! When I'm Hokage, teachers will be paid the most! Yah!"  
  
The blond raised a very enthusiastic fist into the air, until he remembered his "niichan's" predicament. Then he became thoughtful. He tilted his head forward, frowned slightly, and placed a finger on his forehead, hoping that maybe some magic lightening would come from that finger and zap his brain into a genius plan maker with a brilliant scheme to save the dolphin teacher from going broke.  
  
Well, no flash of magic lightening came out of his finger, and before he could even think of anything, a cry ran through the streets.  
  
"Help! Help! There are monsters on the loose! Monsters in the village! Where's the Hokage?! I NEED TO TALK TO THE HOKAGE! A vampire sucked the life out of my arm!"  
  
Iruka and Naruto rushed out of the stand and into the streets, hoping to get a look at the person who was yelling. Surprisingly enough, it was the needle chewing jounin, Genma, who was disturbing the peace.  
  
Now, Genma is usually quite easy going and relaxed. He usually just stands there, happily chewing away at the needle he carries in his mouth without a care in the world. So naturally, a screaming, wide-eyed Genma with his hitai ate bandana having long ago fallen off, and his honey coloured hair streaming wildly behind him, was a curious sight indeed. Not to mention that one of his arms was covered in coin sized, red marks.  
  
"Vampires?" Naruto mumbled to himself. "I thought that vampires existed only in the rock village..."  
  
Iruka sighed. "Naruto, stop being a baka. There are no such things as vampires in rock village. They live in Australia!"  
  
"Oooooh. But Sasuke bastard told me that they live in rock village."  
  
The dolphin snorted at the name. "Sasuke? What the hell does he know? Little bastard, always strutting around as if he owns the village, ignoring all the people he has no interest in, and dissing the people he does have an interest in."  
  
A/N. 0o. whoa. Iruka doesn't seem to like Sasuke ne? Eheheheh  
  
Naruto turned, wide eyed at his former sensei, all thoughts of a psycho Genma out of his head for the time being.  
  
"Iruka-niichan? You hate Sasuke too?"  
  
Iruka blushed. "Uh, crap. You weren't supposed to know that. I'm supposed to like all of the students I've ever had..."  
  
Naruto's eyes began to fill up with tears of pure joy. He jumped at the chuunin and enveloped him in a giant bear hug.  
  
"Oooooh, Iruka-niichan! Finally another person who hates that stupid bastard! Even though you're running out of money and my ramen is going cold, and Genma's turned into a psychopath, this is one of the happiest days of my life!"  
  
Then he paused.  
  
"OH NO! My ramen is getting cold!"  
  
He immediately released the chuunin and inhaled the noodles in one big swallow.  
  
Now, let us leave Naruto and Iruka for a while, and let us join Genma. The poor deranged man ran through Konoha for a full twenty minutes, screaming insanities about vampires sucking out his arm, and how he needed to see the Hokage.  
  
Well, after a while, he finally remembered where the Hokage office was, and then rushed towards that; still screaming insanities.  
  
Seriously freaking out all of the customers and clients in the building, the raving jounin finally made it to Tsunade's office. As soon as he entered the abode, his cheek made contact with a very angry backhand.  
  
"GENMA, YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"  
  
Well, even though the slap knocked him into the wall, it also knocked some senses into him. He rose to his feet, and showed the Goddaime his red mark covered arm.  
  
"H-Hokage-sama, I was on guard duty last night, and I was carefully scanning the forest, completely on the alert for anything mysterious!"  
  
A/N. snort Omg. guffaw Yah right.  
  
Carefully ignoring the authoress's notes, even though they openly dissed him (all characters must be careful because the authoress has complete control of their fates, Muahahahahah!) Genma continued his story.  
  
"Anyway, I was on guard duty, when suddenly, I was attacked by two...things. I tried to fight, but they caught me by surprise, and outnumbered me. Then my arm started to hurt like the Dickens, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up. And my arm had these strange marks all over it! Hokage-sama! There are vampires loose in Konoha!"  
  
Tsunade took a close look at the marks.  
  
"Uh, Genma. These aren't Vampires bite marks."  
  
The jounin looked relieved and surprised at the same time. (He had been so sure that he was bitten by a vampire)  
  
"What are they?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"They're uh, they're hickies."  
  
Somewhere in Kohoha's interior.  
  
"Vlona-sensei, forgive me, but...why did you give him so many hickies?" Rikona the fangirl said to her fellow fangirl and sensei.  
  
Vlona just shrugged.  
  
"He's hot. I lost control."  
  
"Ah."  
  
End Chapter.  
  
Um, okay. Yep. Well, the authoress doesn't have much to say, so she will make a vocabulary list.  
  
Konohagakure no Sato: The village of hidden leaf. Bishi/bishounen: Pretty boy. Very sexy boy, usually not very large in build. Naruto: Fishcake. Iruka: Dolphin. (hence, the puns on their names -) Niichan: Um, it's like, what you call a brother or an uncle. And maybe a cousin too, I'm really not sure. sweatdrop Doushita: why? Nani: what? Baka: idiot  
  
And uh, I think that's all there is. If there's another word that I  
forgot, and you don't know what it means, ask a friend. And if they  
don't know, then ask me. .  
Soo, there's chappie 2. Please tell me what you thought of it in a  
review. (HINT!)  
  
Um, Chappie three will be posted when I write it. And also, my  
internet is going really wacko at the moment (the phone lines are  
gibbled due to the storms here lately) so, I will not be visiting my  
fav sites until they are fixed.  
cries  
Well, none of you really care about that, but I wanted to get it out  
of my system anyway.   
Pleeeeeeeease review! Honestly, the fic's future depends on it! My  
other fic, Into Konoha, didn't get many reviews, (and I got lazy, but  
that's beside the point!) Anyway, I am no longer writing that fic. No  
inspiration or motivation is left in me for that one. sigh 


End file.
